Lies, Damned Lies, and Pokémon
by Virgo Writer
Summary: For years and years people had been thinking them a couple and it was about time they did something about it . . . even if they hadn't exactly meant to. AAML.


**Lies, Damned Lies, and Pokémon**

I was going to put this in the Fan Fiction vs Real Life drabbles, but then I came up with a summary instead of a comparison and well . . . do you know how hard it is to come up with summaries sometimes? Like I'm gonna go and waste that.

Hope you all like this. I certainly did.

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Summary: For years and years people had been thinking them a couple and it was about time they did something about it . . . even if they hadn't exactly meant to. AAML.

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Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon or a few pilfered lines form Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered.

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**_Lies, Damned Lies, and Pokémon_**

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They say honesty is the best policy, but lying certainly has its own advantages._

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"It says we're dating," Ash said bluntly, his voice strained with emotions - some feigned and some hidden. He turned to his companion, hoping she would share his thoughts on the matter.

Misty shrugged indifferently. "So?" she asked him. "They've been saying that for months. They've been saying that about you and EVERYBODY since you won the title. Even Brock.

"It's like they believe that no person on the planet could be around you without developing some kind of romantic attachment," she continued in her now familiar rant, her features creasing in disdain. "It's completely ridiculous. I mean, let's face it, Ash, you're not that much of a catch."

"They have pictures," Ash added in the same strained tone as Misty finished ranting, "and they haven't been saying anything about anyone but you for the last month or so."

"You're imagining it," Misty waved off easily. "And those pictures are obviously fakes and people are going to realize it in no time at all. Especially after we sue their asses for all their worth," she added darkly. "That's slander, you know. Or libel. I'm not sure which. It's probably both!"

"Why would that make any difference?" Ash rebutted sourly. "Everyone already thinks we're a couple and they'll just see the pictures as proof. Even Ma thinks we're in a relationship and she keeps asking me why I'm keeping it from her. In the end I just caved."

"Caved?" Misty asked, eying him suspiciously. "What do you mean 'caved'?"

Ash blanched, backing away subconsciously from the dangerous look in her eyes. He knew he was just 'this far' away from being pummeled to the ground with her mallet, and so the next few words from his mouth would be vitally important.

"I . . . uh . . . told her the truth," he answered awkwardly, his arm raising on it's own accord to scratch the back of his head.

"_The TRUTH_?" Misty repeated dangerously, her eyes narrowing at him. She looked almost amused at his admission, but he knew that this did not mean he was out of hot water yet - not even in the slightest. "And what, perchance, would that truth happen to be?"

"Um . . ." Ash began reluctantly, "I told her that the reason we were keeping our relationship secret was because of your family." He shut his eyes tight as he spoke, cringing in anticipation of the first blow. But Misty didn't hit him yet - she was much too curious as to where this 'truth' was leading to go and put him out of commission so early on.

"And what does my family have to do with this?" she asked him. "As far as I can tell, my sisters would be positively thrilled if the rumors turned out to be true. It would put all the attention back on them as I would be clearly taken and not worthy of anyone's interest."

"Yeah, well I guess I said it was about your grandparents," he explained, although he didn't really guess. He knew exactly what he'd said to his mother - practically memorized it word for word - and had even written it down somewhere in case he ever needed to refer back to it. Although Ash was not a practiced liar, he knew it was best to keep track of one's lies in case they came back to bite you in the ass.

"Your grandparents are from like, a really important family and I know they have a lot of money," he elaborated further, "and my family isn't really that well off. I mean, Ma's been on her own for nearly twenty years and we were barely scraping by for the first five years. And I'm _just_ a trainer, Myst. I'm no one important. I figured they probably wouldn't think I was good enough for you."

Misty sighed, torn between consoling her best friend - he wasn't nobody and she wanted badly to assure him of that - and chastising him for his utter stupidity. He was a real fool sometimes, and as much as she honestly adored him, she hated him for it all the same.

"Look, it's fine," she said, seeming to settle upon some middle ground. "We'll just explain things to Ma and let her know -"

"Um, that's not all of it," Ash cut in reluctantly.

"There's more?" Misty asked and Ash nodded guiltily.

"Ma wanted to help," he said, those four words pretty much saying it all for Misty. Delia Ketchum was nothing if not hospitable.

"Anyway, she called my grandparents - her parents," he continued, "and you know she hasn't spoken them since I was a baby so it was kinda a big deal. They're apparently some big shots and they've got connections, and she sent me to speak with them and after hearing about things, they set up a meeting with your grandparents - apparently they're actually really good friends or something, which is kinda weird right?"

"Oh no," Misty said at the mention of their grandparents.

"So I met your grandparents," Ash told her, "and you know what? They were actually really nice about everything. I mean, I don't think your grandmother liked me very much, at least at first, but she seemed to accept me. And your grandfather was great. He knows about the weirdest things and he has all these great stories from when you were little about Adelaida trying to make you do girly things and your mother getting into a heated battle with her about how you should cut your hair.

"And we played golf," he added happily, "and it was actually really fun and it turned out I was quite good at it. Ted even invited me to come play with him a few times and he's going to recommend me to the club so I can get a membership and maybe a few lessons. How good is that?"

"Focus, Ash," she reminded him before groaning, "I can't believe you met my grandparents. No wonder they've been so weirdly supportive lately.

"Please tell me that's all you did?" she begged, her eyes glistening desperately. She should have known this was all going to end badly the second Ash started referring to her grandparents by their first names.

Ash hissed out a grimace and shook his head slowly.

"Once I had your families support, Ma wanted to know why we hadn't gone public," he explained, "and I told her it was because we didn't know how to go about it. We'd been denying it so long that we didn't know how to address it, you know?

"Um, so it turned out Ma had this friend - someone she went to school with - and she's like this big time publicist," Ash said as he dug through his pockets. He pulled out a worn business card and handed it cautiously to Misty. "Her names Avery Linsey and she's really good," he assured her. "She does all the publicity for the Elite Four, and Professor Oak, and pretty much everyone big in Pokémon. You should definitely meet her. I mean, I know she'd like to meet you."

"Ash why do I care whether Avery Linsey is good at her job?"

"Well she's kinda been helping us go public for the last few months," Ash cringed. "That's why all the stuff about everyone else has stopped. She's been stopping all the other stuff from coming through and getting them on to stories closer to the truth - well 'the truth'," he said, pronouncing the apostrophes and gesturing emphatically with his fingers. "She said we should work on a gradual build up so that when we eventually come out with it, people won't be too fussed.

"By the way, you should definitely call Avery," he added. "She'd like to set up some interviews when you're ready."

Misty gave him a sardonic look. "What else, Ash?" she asked, sensing that this wasn't the end of the story by a long shot.

"Well, the last time I went to see Ma, she . . . uh . . . gave me her engagement ring," he told her, a blush lighting on his cheeks. "She said she was really happy for us and that it was clear to her how serious we were getting about things and that it'd be a real honor if I'd use her ring.

"It's a really nice ring," he added as though this was some sort of condolence.

He searched his pockets and handed her the velvet box containing the ring. Out of morbid curiosity, Misty couldn't help but look and reluctantly admitted that it was a _very_ nice ring - it was a 1 carrot diamond, pear cut, VS1 clarity, with several smaller stones set either side of the stone. The ring was set in a tasteful rose gold that would compliment her skin tone just as much as it did Delia's.

"My dad must have spent a fortune on it, right?" he said, noting her approval. "That or somebody didn't know what he was parting with. He might've even won it in a battle. I mean, I've won weirder things in a battle than an engagement ring, so who knows, right?"

"Ash, continue," she said tiredly, forcing him back to the next stage in the story.

Ash cringed. "I went to talk to your grandparents again," he told her reluctantly. "And I kinda might've asked Ted for your hand in marriage."

"Kinda might've?" Misty challenged.

"Ok, so I definitely asked him for your hand," Ash conceded. "And I guess he really does like me 'cause he said yes right away. And even Adelaida agreed once I showed her a ring so I figured it must've been a really good ring, right? 'Cause Adelaida looks like the kinda person who would know her jewelry and she seemed really happy with the ring."

"I have the strangest feeling that things are about to get worse?" Misty muttered drolly.

"Ma asked me how things went and I told her 'it was a yes' thinking she was talking about my meeting with Ted, and she seemed to think I was talking about the proposal," Ash told her. "She was really, really happy, Myst. I've never seen her so happy in my life.

"I just wanted to make her happier," he said, giving Misty painfully vulnerable looks, "so I asked her to plan our wedding." Misty could do nothing but gape at his admission, and so Ash continued awkwardly to fill the silence. "Hopefully you're not doing anything April 1st 'cause it looks like we're getting married that day," he said with a forced grin.

Misty returned it with an equally strained smile. She found it awfully ironic that his mother had chosen April Fools Day for their fake wedding, but tried not to dwell on it, instead focusing on Ash's elaborate web of lies. "Ash, how could you let it get so far?"

He shrugged looking sad and guilty and scared all at the same time. "I just didn't want to disappoint her," he said naively. "And once I started, I just didn't know how to stop or take them back."

Misty frowned at him, some anger leaving her at seeing him so child like. She just didn't understand the boy sometimes. "Ash, what did you think was going to happen from here?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "We'd get married. Maybe have a few kids. I know you've probably got all your names picked out or something, but I always thought that 'Nessarose' was a really nice name."

Misty sighed, half in frustration and half in surrender. "So you just want me to lie to your mother for the rest of our lives?" she suggested to him, the sneer she tried to lace in her voice lacking some of its usual force.

"Um, no," Ash replied quietly, looking shyly away from her. "I thought maybe . . . it could be true."

"True?" Misty asked, blinking at him in obscure wonder.

"Yeah," Ash repeated, gaining a little confidence. "'Cause all these rumors . . . there's gotta something in them, right? Even if it's just that you're attracted to me and I'm hopelessly in love with you.

"That's something, right?" he added hopefully. "I can work with that even if you don't feel _exactly _the same."

"No, not exactly," Misty said, shaking her head at the desperate, idiotic boy she found standing before her. "I always liked to think of myself as 'foolishly in love'," she told him, inching slowly towards him in an almost seductive manner. "It seemed somehow more fitting.

"You're a fool, Ash Ketchum," she told him pointedly, wrapping her arms slowly around his frame, "but a fool can have his charms, foolish as they may be. And I'm a fool for loving you - all the more when you pull foolish stunts like these."

"So you'll marry me?" Ash asked, looking foolishly hopeful as he awaited her reply.

"I suppose," Misty sighed tiredly, almost reluctant in her agreement.

"I mean," she added casually, "it is an awfully nice ring."

~FIN~

I'm hoping to write a second shot to this, but I'm not sure where to start with it. Hopefully I'll come up with something. The idea was inspired a bit by **Guys and Dolls**, although I've switched roles a little. I guess Ash just seemed more like the Adelaide in this situation than the Nathan Detroit given how involved his mother is in his life. Any mother that goes to effort to remind her son to change his underwear clearly has boundary issues that do not suddenly stop when it comes to his love life. Ash is such a little momma's boy.

Well, let me know what you think and if you have any ideas for how I might continue this, feel free to mention them.


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